Suicide

It might seem like this blog, which was set up for geoscience is talking about an issue that is so utterly unrelated to geology. Yet, as I have reflected on the events of the past several weeks and tried to categorize them and come to understand them, I have realized that social issues and science go hand in hand.
A few weeks ago a friend attempted suicide. She isn't a scientist. She's a military spouse. To say that this event rocked our community to its very core would be an understatement. While my friend is in the hospital getting the treatment she needs in order to repair the psychological damage she has experienced, we have begun to have a national conversation about military service members and their family members rates of suicide.

How does this affect the Ivory Tower and science?

Well, more and more men and women are returning from war and moving on to exercise their educational benefits. They arrive at college still sporting some of the hidden wounds of this war including depression, anxiety and PTSD, not to mention traumatic brain injuries. These people are students in our courses. They have been trained to think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and so they may not be able to articulate to faculty members that there is a problem beyond the subtle symptoms of withdrawn behavior, poor attendance, slipping grades, what may seem like inappropriate anger, mood swings, fatigue, changes in eating habits or personal appearance, etc. Despite their desire to be strong and carry on, they may not be able to do so.
It might feel unfair to place the burden of being first responders on the faculty of our Universities, but in some instances you may be the only person who sees the signs. So, I am going to have to ask each of you to look after your students now and in the coming years, for the symptoms of depression, anxiety and PTSD, so that your students don't get so lost that they think suicide is the only option. You don't have to know what it is like to stand on the front lines, survive a mortar attack, or spend your nights worrying that your loved one is dead in order to be able to help out. You just have to be willing to take people aside and talk to them and give them the opportunity to talk and the opportunity to learn about the resources your University has to help them. Often times, the therapists covered by military health insurance are overrun with patients, making it difficult to get necessary treatment. This was in part what I experienced my first year of graduate school.

In order to raise awareness of these issues and their coming impact on the American public, as well as their continuing impact on military families, Blue Star Families in conjunction with Health Net,  TAPS, and the Creative Coalition have put together a couple of PSAs that directly address these issues. I am sharing them here, because I realize this is an uncomfortable subject to broach, but these messages may help reduce American's anxiety about raising the discussion with their friends, neighbors, students and employees who may be suffering. Please take a look:




 I was not getting help until my advisors, who I hated at the time for doing so, sat me down and told me they were requiring me to go get help from our on campus psychological services for the anxiety I was experiencing due to my husband's circumstances at the time. I think part of the reason my friend and fellow military spouse's suicide attempt has been especially sorrowful for me is that looking back, now that I have help, my husband's circumstances have improved, and I am sailing through school, I realize that but for willingness of my advisors to be the bad guys, I may not have ended up all that differently from my friend. I was really pretty close to the edge. As much as I am sometimes frustrated with my advisors, as I assume any graduate student is, I have to admit that they may well have saved my life. I don't know that the University gives out awards for that, but if they don't, they should.

So please, whether you're a faculty member, staff member, teaching assistant, postdoc, friend, etc of a veteran, servicemember, National Guard member or Reservist, or a spouse of a service member please take a moment to check in with them and make sure they're okay. Who knows, you might just save a life.

Maui: Honokalani Black Sand Beach

I just got back from Maui on Friday, but I wanted to share some of our adventures. I got really lucky that I was able to go geo-trekking with another nerd who humored me getting my nerd on. We hiked all over Haleakala and last Wednesday, we trekked out to the 7 Sacred Pools (more on these adventures later).

On our way back along the infamous "Road to Hana", we stopped at Waianapanapa State Park to visit the black sand beach. It's one of those things on my bucket list, 'cause I'm a nerdy geologist. The black sand is actually more like black pebbles with a little sand in between. What really struck me was watching the waves from the lava tube turned sea cave. I even made a video for you. BTW, for those who choose to visit, they mean it when they say strong surf.

I made a little offering to Pele, since she has inspired my desire to be a scientist ever since I was in 4th grade. It occurred to me that my 4th grade teacher went to Maui and brought me back a T-shirt that I wore until it fell apart, literally. She knew I loved volcanoes. I wanted so much to visit HI based on her trip. I hope Pele accepts my offering and knows how much she inspires me.

I hope this video of the waves from the point of view of the lava tube inspires you as well.

GK12: How's this for results?

I can't help myself. I need to brag a little. Of the senior class of 11 students I work with, 9 entered the science fair. More importantly all 9 came home with awards. Two of them won 1st place honors, one in Botany/Zoology for her project on flightless birds and the other won in 1st in Earth Science with his project on the effects of sea level rise associated with global warming on different nations. While I am blanking the personal information for obvious reasons, here's the list:

JC
1^st Place Senior in Botany & Zoology division
Pioneers in Science Award
Linda Hall Library Display award
XX State Fair Award

RE
Gold Achievement

Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest

BJ
Silver Achievement
Linda Hall Library Display Award
XX City Garden Club
Greater XX City Association of Family and Consumer Sciences
Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest


KL
Bronze Achievement
American Society for Photogrammetry & Remote Sensing (ASPRS)
XX City Garden Club
Offered a future internship with Environmental Company

MM

Silver Achievement

HN
Bronze Achievement

Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest

Offered a future internship with Environmental Company

CP
1^st place Senior in Earth and Space Science division
Gold Achievement
American Meteorological Society - XX City Chapter
American Society for Photogrammetry & Remote Sensing (ASPRS)
[University] Advanced Certificate Program in GIS
Earth Science
Association For Women Geoscientists
XX State Fair Award
Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest

DP
Bronze Achievement
ASM International - XX City Chapter
Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest

NS
Silver Achievement

Write up entered into Society for Technical Communication Writing Contest

I intend to help JC get her paper published in a scientific journal and help CP and DP present their work at GSA (fingers crossed) this year. Please congratulate them on all their hard work and remember to write your Congressman and Senators and ask them to save NSF's GK12 program, so that we can springboard many other students to such lofty science heights. 

Science Education is a National Defense Issue: A Call to Action

One of the most successful programs sponsored by the National Science Foundation is on the chopping block and we need your help to save it. The program is called GK-12 or the Graduate STEM Fellows in Education. This program matches science, technology, engineering and mathematics (or STEM)graduate students with a mentor teacher at a local elementary, middle, high school to assist with improving the science content and serving as a science role model in the classroom. Over the course of the fellowship scientists learn to communicate their research to the kids in the classroom and translate their improved science communication skills to communicating with the public throughout the course of their careers. According to the Save GK-12 website, since its inception in 1999, the GK-12 program has changed the lives of:

7,400 Graduate fellows

5,000 Schools

9,000 Teachers

600,000 K-12 students

This direct line of communication between the education system in the United States and the scientific community is critical in our increasingly technological society. Our children need better math, science and critical thinking skills in order to be prepared to address our coming societal challenges. Having a GK-12 Fellow that is already on the technological front lines facing these challenges provides a unique perspective on the intersection between science and society. The GK-12 fellows are doing cutting edge research that affects almost every aspect of daily life. Energy policy, climate change, species diversity, earthquake science and engineering,  water quality and urban development, astrophysics, agriculture, development of unmanned aircraft, and AIDS vaccine development are just a few of the content areas GK-12 fellows are researching. Many fellows research develops technologies and addresses challenges that Adm. Mullen has cited as critical to National Defense. The true breadth of their research could not be summarized in a blog post and possibly not even in a book.  This program doesn’t imagine the power of having kids being mentored in research by cutting edge scientists, it’s doing it and your children are benefiting from it.

The rationale given for slashing the program from the National Science Foundation’s budget was that Fellows do not spend enough time in the classroom to bond with the students and really influence them in a significant way. I would respectfully beg to differ on this point. As a 2^nd yr Fellow in the GK-12 program, I can honestly tell you that my fellowship is all about relationships. Kids often tell me things that they do not tell anyone else. When I sit down to work with a kid, my first question is always, “Tell me what you’re passionate about.” The answers vary: skateboards, music, etc. Inevitably any of these interests can be turned into a science lesson. For example, if your kid loves skateboards, then I try to help him investigate the physics of skateboarding, which will hopefully lead to fewer trips to the doctor for him and his parents. This past year, 9 of the 11 students I work with have entered science fair having completed individual research projects that are largely of their own design and execution.

What you need to ask yourself is whether you would rather your child learns science as a series of facts and worksheets, or whether you want your child to be educated by the strong partnership of a mentor teacher and graduate STEM fellow under GK-12. Then we, the GK12 program ask you to contact your Congressman, Senators, and the Senate and House Appropriations Committees and ask them to save the most successful science education program at NSF from being cut from the 2012 budget.

 You can contact your Congressman and Senators through Congress.org by typing your zip code.

At the end of the day, what makes our country great is our individual ability as citizens to petition our government for redress. We shape the American democracy and we determine what things the government should spend money on.  Our nation’s future is now and it rests in the hands of our children in the educational systems. Every dollar spent to improve the quality of science education is an investment in your child, in our nation and in our ability to compete successfully today and tomorrow. Please stand up and support the GK12.

For more information on my experience with GK-12, please go here. A former fellow has also posted her experience. Numerous You Tube videos showing the hands-on work in the classroom abound.

National Science Foundation cancels the GK-12 Fellowship program

This year during the State of the Union Address, the President stated that science education was a priority in the national interest. He made it clear that we need more scientists to deal with an increasingly technological world.

Fast forward to today and imagine my surprise when someone forwards me a Science article that explains that the GK-12 fellowship program, which allowed graduate students to be placed in school classrooms around the country to assist kids and teachers in conducting scientific inquiry in the classroom, was cancelled. Color me shocked. Actually, I think horrified is a better approximation of my emotions. Let me explain.

I am a current NSF GK-12 Fellow. This is my second and final year on the fellowship. I was awarded the fellowship in the second semester of my first year of my PhD program. This was about the same time I was working on writing my proposal for my research. I found that working through explaining the research process to middle school children really helped me focus down on my own research topic and finish my proposal by the end of the summer of my first year. This really helped me to move forward in my research over the summer and get the better part of one paper finished my by my second year of graduate school.

The following school year, I was moved to a high school where I worked with sophomores, juniors and seniors on water quality research.  In the high school where I work, the seniors conduct a year long science research project as a capstone course. Helping the kids work through the inevitable "mandatory floundering" of research toward those moments of enlightenment we all experience as scientists was incredibly rewarding. It also had the unintended benefit of giving me something positive to hold on to when my anxiety caused me to fail my oral comprehensive exams last year. GK-12 gave me a sense of purpose that helped me to keep pushing forward on my research when I felt pretty bleak.

This fall, working with a new set of kids, explaining the research process again, and helping them move through the research process, helped me to get my confidence back and improve my public speaking skills to the point where I could pass my comprehensive exams. I also have students this year who are really interested in geomicrobiology, which has given me the opportunity to shape projects and advise students on all kinds of research questions I find interesting, but otherwise don't have the time to pursue. Additionally, I have been working with a class of undergrads at BIG U who intend to be teachers, performing the same type of advising  on their projects. I feel like I have a better handle on what it takes to be faculty at a R1 institution than some of my compatriots who don't have the opportunities my fellowship has provided. I also do not believe that the GK-12 fellowship has negatively impacted my research skills as suggested in the science article, as I intend to graduate in 4 years with 5 publications, including a methods paper.

The GK-12 fellowship really inspired me to do more and to be better. It made me realize how important it is for me to talk about my science with everyone I meet. A lot of my job in the classroom isn't just to help the kids develop research questions and find ways to answer those questions. My job is first and foremost to listen to the kids, to find out their interests, and to help them see how science and math plays into EVERYTHING, whether it's skateboarding or biofuels. Carl Wieman, associate director in the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy asserts that one reason the program was cut is that:

  “"The reality is that, under GK-12, the time available for kids to interact with grad students so that both sides could develop a relationship …was probably not enough to achieve the impact that one would have liked to see.."

I really question this assertion, because it is the antithesis of my experience. I have comforted the military child in one of my classes who needed a good cry because she hadn't heard from her Dad who was in Iraq. I felt her pain as only someone in a military family could. She didn't need a scientist that day; she needed a friend who understood what she was going through. We worked on managing her stress so that she could focus on her school work. I have listened to many a kid who is growing up every bit as poor as I was as a kid and I have shared with them my success story and the tools that I found worked to escape poverty. I love those kids and I have celebrated every success and mourned every heartache with them for 2 years now. The truth is that unlike what Mr. Wieman supposes, you cannot teach someone unless you have a trusting relationship with them.

Most Americans don't even know a scientist. They still describe scientists as old, white men in lab coats. They think science either is 1) all figured out already (i.e. science is taught as a series of facts) or that 2) scientists change their minds all the time for no reason. Neither of these views are accurate representations of the truth. Each of these misconceptions affects whether or not young people will consider a career in science. Having a young woman (i.e. me) or a person of color, or someone like my friend Ilya there discussing science and engaging in explaining how and why science is a process has meaning and value.

I am deeply disappointed by this decision. I encourage each and every one of you, whether you are a scientist or not, to write your Congressman and the President and tell them that these programs are critical to our ability to grow future scientists and maintain our preeminence in the scientific arena. I really believe that the GK-12 program is one of the most important things I have ever participated in as a scientist and it is a shame that the relationships GK-12 fellows have built aren't recognized or appreciated by our government, even as they stress the need for better science education.

Lab work as a meditation

This weekend I had a student working in the lab with me. He seemed interested in the project initially, went out and collected the samples himself, came to my lab to run them and then seemed bored out of his mind the entire time he was here.

I know sequential extractions cannot be described as a non-stop thrill-ride adventure, but I have to say that I really enjoy working in the lab. That’s quite a statement for a former field geologist to make, I think. Don’t get me wrong; I still love hanging off the sides of cliffs and starting out over a vast plain from the top of a mountain. There is a unique beauty, peace, solitude, and perspective that field work brings.

Lab work has a different vibe to it. Whether it’s picking grains for analysis or performing a sequential extraction, there is a beauty to the slow methodical rhythm of lab work. Pipetting liquids from one tube to another doesn’t sound like a serene experience, but it really is. It forces me to focus on the moment, the way my hands are moving, getting the pipette as close to the sediment interface as possible without touching it. There is little room for all the other stresses in my life. Without those stressors cluttering my mind, I find myself more prone to joy and deep satisfaction with my life.

I also find that moments of clarity are easier to come by in these routine lab bench moments. The majority of my consciousness if focused on doing the job at hand, but part of it has uncluttered time to think. In these long lab work days, I find I can focus on one issue at a time that needs dealt with.  It has made me realize that for me lab work can have the same emotional/mental/spiritual effect as my tai chi practice.

 I wonder if all scientists feel this way or if lab work is something you have to get through on your way to something else (i.e. publication).  I wonder what I can do to explain or share with students the intrinsic power of laboratory meditation or if it is something people have to find out for themselves. 

Graduate School: What happens if you get shown the door. Part 2

Part 2: So you don't think your graduate student is working out, now what?

***DISCLAIMER: For the record, I am not a faculty member, so this post is an opinion based on my years working in industry.***

Not every person you hire is going to be a great fit with your company or your brand. It happens. Some people look great on paper when they aren't. Some people are really nice and would be a great fit in some one else's company, but they just don't fit with yours. The reasons people get fired run the gambit from personal to professional reasons depending on federal, state, and local laws. The real question is: what do you do when things aren't working out?

The first thing you need to do is stay calm. The graduate student-advisor relationship can be stressful on both sides. You've invested in this person and things aren't going as planned. It can be every bit as stressful as being a parent. This is why calm has to be the first order of the day. You need to separate your feelings about the person from his or her performance. Sometimes writing things down helps clarify things. If nothing else, it will help you clarify whether the issues can be resolved.

Secondly, let your student know early on in the process where they stand. Most graduate students want to be successful. Letting them know where they are doing well and where they need to improve can be beneficial. My current advisors are really amazing in giving us yearly evaluations and usually we have an end of semester sit-down where we talk about what worked, what didn't, and benchmark goals for the next semester. When things go poorly, we all talk about it right away and get things back on track. When they go really well, we celebrate and I walk away feeling like I can conquer the next step we've laid out. Under no circumstances should you just pretend your student doesn't exist until you fire them. It's a waste of your money and both parties time.

This leads into my third point: Keep it professional. At some level, graduate school is an apprenticeship and the graduate student does need to be evaluated. This is an evaluation of his/her performance, not who they are as a human being. Personal attacks and discussion of personal life (except where it bridges into professional life) are off-limits. It doesn't matter if you think your graduate student is a horrible excuse for a human being or whom your graduate student is dating/sleeping with, unless it is relevant to their position as a graduate student or TA. 

If you have a problem with your student, talk to your student about it. I knew a faculty member who had huge divisions in his lab group because he would tell his favorite students all about the students he didn't like as well. These favorite students would then tell other people and it would eventually get back to the student who was the subject of the gossip. I told my current advisors when they hired me that I expected that if they had a problem with me, I would hear about it from them directly and not anyone else. I respect them because they have always come to me directly when I've made a mistake.

Most importantly, providing feedback early and often is really positive for you and for your graduate student. When I failed my comps the first time due to anxiety issues, my advisors told me to write them a one page corrective action plan that I would follow over the next semester to address the issue. It was enormously helpful, because I had an opportunity to figure out what went wrong and how to fix things. I laid out goals, including mini-comps with my advisors, that helped me get used to speaking in front of people. I got help from people on campus as well. I still was nervous the second time around, but I was able to hold it together enough to pass and I knew that I had done everything I could to fix my problem. If I hadn't, well, they could have shown me my plan, how I didn't follow it, and I wouldn't have been able to blame them if they booted me. I think this is the way things should work.

I am stressed out like most graduate students, but I admit that having advisors who run the personnel end of the lab like a company has really been a blessing. I feel more confident because I know where I stand. When I got booted from my previous PhD attempt, it was a bolt out of the blue. I never knew my advisor was unhappy with me until it was too late to do anything about it. I really don't think I have become more brilliant in the years between being kicked out of school and coming back. I think having great advisors who understand the mentoring process was what I needed to be successful. They aren't perfect and there are things I would do differently, but they have been just great. I also have a great committee who has been there every step of the way with me too.

Of course there are exceptions to these guidelines, like academic misconduct. That is a whole other ball of wax. Most universities have defined rules on how such incidents are handled. This is why I did not touch on such behaviors. I feel like the guidelines I have written are more for instances that are more routine such as when your student is slacking, or has an issue like anxiety, etc.